Divine Self!

There are tough times, terrible times even, in life. If you are sad, you are sad. No magic formula will take away what has happened to you, or make your life an uneventful journey. There really isn’t a fast track to happiness. But despite the reality of life and the complexity of overcoming your own obstacles, you also owe it to yourself to find your reason for living. You have to find the sense of your life.

No one will give you a purpose in life – you have to create one for yourself.

Finding your purpose in life begins with a decision to wake up every morning, saying to yourself, “Here I am again. Another opportunity to create something. Another chance to smile and enjoy my life.”

The responsibility you hold for yourself is to listen to the quietest of voices and do the right thing. This “right” thing isn’t in a rule or a commandment, and it’s not written in any book. It’s inside of yourself. It evolves as you recognize your truth, dream new possibilities, and then allow yourself opportunity to act on ideas and values important to you. In your heart of hearts you know that you want to leave this world better then how you found it. It’s up to you to breathe the air, smell the smells, hear the beautiful sounds of earth, and decide that you life is important to you.

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.

Have you seen the motivational plaque that reads, “Life is a do-it-yourself project. Get excited about it!”

I love that expression because it reminds me that it’s up to me to make each day special. That doesn’t mean that each moment of every day is going to be wonderfully smooth, uneventful, and happy. But it does mean that it is up to me to take action each day to make sure I’m excited about being in a body and about being alive.

If you’re not as excited about your life as you want to be, take comfort in knowing that increasing the joy in your is something that you can actually take control of. Becoming inspired, energized, and fully engaged in your life is definitely possible! Gaining excitement isn’t so much about working to “fix” yourself as it is learning new skills of acceptance, emotional flow, and focusing your efforts on activities that have personal meaning.

There are numerous actions that support your ability to achieve a higher level of excitement about your own life. Below are several powerful places to begin:

1. Stop the Drama

Excitement about your life emerges as you gain a deeper capacity to accept things as they are right now. Often times when things get rough, it is easy to fall into the worry trap, worrying about the issue, picking at the problem, and conjuring up the worst-case scenario. Intense focus on the problem accelerates negative emotions and stirs up even more chaos.

Acceptance of the situation allows you to stop flailing about and see the situation in a new light. Life is an ever-changing flow of moving, breathing, suffering, and hoping. It includes sorrows and dreams, and the mystery of things actually working out for the best. You’re not having a particular challenge because you are bad, wrong, or being punished. Instead, you can look at the situation and bring compassion to yourself. Discover if there is something to gain from the experience. Often, a difficult challenge also has within it a transformative power that can assist you in creating a more fully developed life.

2. Emotional Flow

Obviously, life is not about the absence of emotions. Therefore, allowing yourself to be excited about being alive involves an understanding that joy and sorrow are not a mutually exclusive proposition. Both are possible, and both can occur simultaneously. With this new definition of wholeness, your life journey is no longer about attempting to abolish difficult emotions, but learning new strategies to recognize, accept, and allow emotional flow.

Emotions have energy, and big emotions have big energy. A key to emotional flow requires learning to accept emotions as they occur while also attaining the ability to stand back and let the emotional energy move on through. I will be the first to admit this is tricky business. It’s so easy to wan to resist uncomfortable emotions, suppress them, or get all tangled up in them. Mastering emotional flow means doing what we least want to do – accept emotions, stand behind a short wall, breathe, and let them flow.

3. Breathe

Conscious breathing is a vital ingredient in the recipe of an exciting life. Breath instantly lifts your spirits and clears your mind of negative thoughts and tension. Breath keeps energy moving. In addition, breath is the choice you make to be alive, to be you, and to be connected to your wisdom. Decide to breathe consciously throughout the day. Several times each hour take several deep, fulfilling breaths, that invigorates you body and rids your body of accumulated heaviness.

4. Practice Optimism

Optimism feels more excited about being alive! If you are not currently an optimistic person, don’t worry – optimism can be learned. After all if the glass is half-empty, then it’s also already half-full. You can teach yourself to see the other side, despite the little setbacks, small adversities, disappointments, frustrations, and letdowns in your everyday experiences. Here are several optimistic thoughts to practice:

• Things didn’t go well today, but there’s a lot to be learned from this experience.
• Somehow everything is going to work out for the best.  
• There is a future, and you will get through this emotion, situation, or experience.
• Be a friend to yourself when you need it most.
• When life is especially difficult, remember that life happens even to ‘good’ people.
• Understand that you are part of something bigger.

5. Choose Joy

A starting point to allow a deeper connection to excitement about your own life is to make a conscious decision that you are tired of “working” on your life and “working” on your problems. Decide you want to feel good right now. Then, get busy making simple choices that allow you to feel good about yourself today. For example:

• Appreciate the love and beauty already in your life.
• Always keep your word to yourself.
• Value your own efforts.
• Instead of focusing on problems, envision solutions.
• Practice self-supportive thoughts.
• Lighten up and don’t take yourself so seriously.
• Schedule time every day for relaxation.
• Learn to breathe consciously and deeply.

6. Follow Your Bliss

Over twenty years ago the great American mystic Joseph Campbell told us that the secret of life was to “Follow Your Bliss.” Turns out, he was right. Follow your instincts and choose actions that make you happy – both now and in the long-run. For example, if you’re feeling low and you choose sugary sweet comfort foods to lift your spirits, you may feel good now, but you won’t be feeling so good a little while from now. Following your bliss means looking inside and choosing an action or activity that allows you to feel more alive. Alive with no regrets or undesirable consequences. Choose to spend your time and energy on activities that create a fuller, richer life for yourself.

Excitement is something we choose. It’s something we set forth as a possibility, and then look for ways to making it happen. This is your life. Is today the day you purposefully get excited about exploring, discovering, and creating?

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.

Have you ever gotten lost in the thick of things, focusing too much on a specific problem and missing the big picture? If so, then you understand the expression, “Not being able to see the forest for the trees.” You find yourself spending virtually all your time solving problems, overly concerned with detail and unable to see the whole situation.

The problem with this kind of focus is that it leaves little time for creative thinking. Once you solve one problem, there is another one right behind it. So you get caught up in problem-solving decisions which can move you away from specific difficulties but does little to move you forward into the life you actually want to live.

Luckily, there is another way.

If you are finding yourself in a constant battle with your challenges and losing all perspective of why you wanted your goal in the first place, take a breather to regain a more balanced perspective. Step out from the tangle of trees, and broaden your viewpoint to see the entire forest. Once your overall goal is back in focus, it’s easier to connect the essence of your dreams to reality. This means remembering that the larger fundamental nature of your goal was to create a better life for yourself. How does what you are doing and how you are doing it fit into the big picture?

One key to achieving success is to keep your overall focus on the big picture and the central goals while discovering creative, confidence building ways to resolving the day-to-day issues. By remembering your big picture, you can think through the potential short-term and long-term impact of your actions. Before taking action, ask yourself if the action is kind and nurturing to yourself, while also moving you forward into your desired life.

It’s easy to keep your eye on the big picture once you know how. Here’s a list of 10 ways to keep your vision focused on what you most want:

1.  Construct your overall goal in a picture collage by creating a vision board.
2. Make a movie in your mind of the life you want to live. See yourself living your life, enjoying your life. Play your movie over and over throughout the day.
3. Spend two minutes in the morning breathing and reviewing your goal before you head out into your everyday routine.
4. Every morning write down your big picture goal at the top of your to-do list.
5. Make your first to-do item one specific action step related to your goal.
6. Buy a digital recorder and record your goal or dream in your own voice. Listen to your goal several times each day.
7. Before going to bed, meditate on your values, goals, and aspirations
8. Use your imagination to “live” your dream. Close your eyes, relax, and feel yourself already breathing, feeling, and experiencing the life you want to be living.
9. Carry a small token or object in your pocket that is symbolic of your dream. Whenever you lose focus or get discouraged, reach into our pocket and allow your token to inspire you once again.  
10. When things get stressful, take a walk. Movement can release stress, which in turn helps you get centered on what’s important.

It’s easy to get lost in the details and lose focus of the beauty of your dreams and goals.  If you’re struggling with too many details, you can take steps to balance your focus. By picking one of these tips above and taking action, you can regain focus on your big picture and give your actions direction and purpose.

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.

We all want to have wonderfully, happy days every day of the week. But between life’s unexpected challenges, overloaded schedules, and migraine headaches it’s no wonder we’ve forgotten how to smile. It’s easy to focus on the disappointments and stress of life. However, if we look around for just a moment, we may be surprised at the number of opportunities that are available to turn our frowns into smiles.

Here are 5 things to bring happiness back into focus:

Taking one small action on something important to you, and then see yourself as a person who is capable of handling life’s challenges!

As soon as you wake up, take a deep breath, and say hello to your body. You have one more day to live in a body and expand the meaning or enjoyment of your life. Next, look out the window and connect with the sunrise, the trees, and the signing birds. Say hello to your world!

Express positive emotions to the people around you. Using words to express your thankfulness and joy really does help you feel better instantly. 

 Decide not to deprive someone of hope or rain on their parade.

Sharpen your senses – Savor life’s joys and relish ordinary experiences, like seeing the beauty in the trees around your home, or feeling grateful for your hot shower.

What is it that you’re happy about today? Post a comment below and let us know!

The other day I received a question near and dear to my heart from a member of the professional networking group LinkedIn. The question read:

“Do you think it is best to read one self-help book by one author, or is it better to have a range of books? How do we know that one is better than another? I’ve read several books, but I am obviously doing something wrong as my life seems about the same as it was several years ago when I first came across them. I try and follow the ideas, advice, guidance etc., but either I’m not doing it right, or they are flawed.”

Each year, thousands of new self-help books promise to help you lose weight, overcome depression, or raise your self-esteem. Are these books helpful?

My experience is that a knowledgeable author can provide hope and inspiration that change is possible, and then break down the change process into a series of definable steps. A self-help book can provide a map of how to get from point A to point Z, and can tell us realistically what to expect along the journey.

When I examine a self-help book I may not agree with the author’s point of view, but a good self-help writer can convey the meaning in our suffering and offer reassurance that there is a way out of our suffering. Sometimes that is what we most need – compassion for ourselves and hope that change is possible.

As a counselor, I’ve read numerous self-help books and attended a multitude of therapy training classes. These books and classes often provided something quite unexpected. By “trying on” their model of therapy or healing, I was able to practice the system and understand something important about myself. Instead of leaving with a new counseling methodology, I left with a more clarified understanding of who I was and what I believed in.  

My most recently published self-help book, “Body Redesign: Goal Setting Secrets for a Thinner Happier You” is a step-by-step goal-setting workbook for learning how to end overeating while also creating a better life. In the introduction, I explain my concept of how self-help books can be of value:

“Body Redesign provides a specific action plan to end emotional eating, compulsive eating, binge eating, secret eating, or bulimic behaviors. The point of the exercises is to provide a template to reveal what the tools of success are, why each tool is important, and simultaneously to provide you with an experiential opportunity to practice using those tools.

After you have worked through the plan for yourself, the basics will be part of your new vocabulary and thought process. You will know how to apply these same principles to other areas of your life. Having obtained the fundamentals, you will be free to experiment with these tools in your own creative way. Have fun with them, redesign them, and make them yours. In due course, as you master the concepts, you can move into a life beyond goal setting.

Ultimately, life is not really about systematically setting goal after goal. It is, however, a continuous process of freeing yourself from your own self-imposed limitations, discovering where you wish to direct your efforts and life-energy, and bringing new dreams into this reality. Setting goals, as described in this book, teaches you how to do that. Take the time and learn the fundamentals. Begin with the proven principles of success, apply them to your own life, and then be free to create your own system of success.”

Self-help books, if ingested like most people ingest the latest diet of the month tend not to work in the long-term. That’s because what is most important to improving the quality of our life is that we use a book or class to help us discover who we are, what works best for us, and what doesn’t work. A self-help book can open our eyes to new possibilities, it can help us tap into new energies and perspectives, but ultimately we can only heal ourselves.

If you are looking to self-help books to provide information about how to move beyond a challenge or problem, my “advice” is read a variety of books if you feel compelled to do so. As you are reading them, be aware of the words, sentences, or paragraphs that resonate within you. Be conscious of the concepts that echo inside. When an idea “resonates” within you, it means that particular concept has meaning and truth to you. Put your trust not in the self-help author, but trust your own inner signalling that a particular direction or action is right for you. Your truth is always inside of you, and never in another person. But sometimes, another person can speak the words that wake up the truth within that had been lying dormant.

My take is that a good self-help book can provide hope, light, and a shortcut into a higher awareness. With renewed inspiration, we are able to place fresh focus on developing a more satisfying life, and trust ourselves to make the decisions that are beneficial to our life path. Those are my views on self-help books. What do you think? Leave your comments on your experiences with self-help books!

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.

In our rush to meet the daily obligations of work, family, and social life, we tend to overlook our own needs. But without adequate renewal and regeneration, we can become depleted, resentful, and unhappy. Today’s article is designed to give you five new self-care strategies to feel better now!

1. Make a New Choice!

Taking time for self-care begins by deciding that you want your life to be a good experience and making a conscious choice to take specific actions toward your desire. No kidding! Choice is very powerful and is the pivot on which your world turns. When you consciously decide that you want to live a life that feels good, you also choose to love yourself in very practical terms. That means doing whatever is necessary to associate with passions, dreams, and actions that increase the amount of energy and joy in your life.

2. Dream From Your Heart

The life you wish to live can only be imagined by you, and can only be created by you. Sit for a moment and take a deep breath. Close your eyes, and look inside. What is it that you want? Only you can decide what feeling good would look like. To create the life you want, you must take the responsibility to first name what you want to experience, and decide how you would like that experience to feel.

3. Learn Goal-Setting Skills

Once you know what your dream is, self-care involves investing time and energy to make your dream real. Choose daily activities that support your goals. Goal setting skills show you exactly how to focus on activities that energize you. Move beyond what happened or why, and instead of unresolved anxiety, overwhelm, or hopelessness, look toward what excites you. What is important to you? What action or choice can you take right now that will make you feel proud of yourself right now?

4. Two Minute Morning Ritual

If your day begins without much excitement, there is good news! You can easily transform your morning into a magical time that welcomes the potential of good things happening to you! Spending just two minutes in the morning can turn your day into a magical land of opportunity!

Before running out of the house or starting on your normal everyday activities, sit down. For two minutes, focus on living your day in a manner that is satisfying and meaningful. Feel yourself being competent, inspired, and taking inspired action on your goal or dream. Breath, relax, and notice what it feels like in your body to be excited and filled with the expectation that you can have what you want. That’s it! Spend two minutes each morning and get excited about all the wonderful potentials that lie in store for you today.

5. Worry Effectively

Stress and worry are among the top leading causes of feeling tired and worn-out.   Stress happens when you believe you do not have the time, experience, or resources to deal with a situation. The accompanying anxiety, frustration, or upset are clear indications that you feel disempowered, you believe yourself to be at risk, or you currently believe yourself unable to effect change in your life. Plug up this energy drain by writing down your major discontents. Get your thoughts out into the open where you can see what is going on. Put a voice to what you believe about the world and your place in it. This provides a clear sense of what you want to move away from. From there, take the next step and identify new choices that relieve stress and help bring you back into balance. Taking those actions will leave you feeling empowered once again.

Dr. Annette Colby, RD can help you take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, and move beyond depression into an extraordinary life! Annette is the author of Your Highest Potential and has the unique ability to show you how to spark an amazing relationship with your life! Visit http://www.AnnetteColby.com to access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for a Fr’ee subscription to Loving Miracles! newsletter.

What do you do when you are expecting a pleasant journey through your goals or life adventures, but you get difficulty instead? Do you:

• Mope and sulk?
• Give up interest in your goal?
• Get into a foul mood?
• Punish yourself for your difficulty?
• Eat to stuff your sorrows?
• Drink to escape?
• Get addicted to stuff?
• Cry?

These and many more are options we take when we reach an obstacle or our goal becomes difficult to achieve. One way to move beyond emotions and self-doubt is to learn how to make and manage agreements.

In business management circles, there is a saying that you cannot manage people you can only manage agreements. Great business leaders are compassionate and attempt to understand the feelings of their employees, but they do not try to manage other people’s emotions and personalities. Instead, great leaders get great results from their people by managing agreements.   

With self-leadership, you are not managing people outside of yourself, but you are managing emotional opposition and internal resistance. Learning how to manage agreements with yourself leads to increased motivation, and a higher degree of confidence.  

Avoiding the Should Trap

Many people approach goals as something someone else is making us do. For example, “I should be eating healthy.” “I should be following my diet. “I should exercise today.” Should statements may seem motivating, but in truth they lead to unnecessary emotional turmoil, resistance, and defiance. When you say you “should” be losing weight, you are shouting, “I should, but I don’t want to.” And at the first opportunity, you won’t.

Make self-respectful decisions about the direction you are moving toward, and follow through with those decisions. When you make an agreement with yourself, you own that your goal is self-chosen and important. Every time you hear yourself saying, “I should…” replace your statement with a conscious choice and say, “I made an agreement with myself to pursue this goal.” When you honor your agreements you’ll feel happier and have more energy for long-term motivation.  

Choose the Right Agreement

Let’s say you’re a writer and your goal is to write for one hour each morning. You agree to get up at 5:00 AM each morning so that you can write before everyone else gets out of bed. When you are in the process of choosing this action, ask yourself, “Can I count on myself to follow through with this commitment, with 100-percent compliance? Will I follow through with this promise to myself?” If the answer is “Yes” then you have an agreement. If the answer is “No” then make a different agreement.

Modify Agreements

Change your agreement as soon as you notice it is not working. For example, if experience shows you that getting up at 5:00 AM seven days a week is unrealistic, be honest with yourself. Breaking your promise, making excuses, or ignoring your agreement is energetically draining to your motivation. In addition, you lose trust within yourself and you lose hope about being able to achieve success. Modify your agreements and fine-tune them as often as necessary. Let yourself know that inaction is not an option, but your action is modifiable. What alternate action can you take right now? Agree to take that alternate action, and then follow through.

Your Word to Yourself is Important

Making an agreement with yourself frees up energy and allows you to maintain integrity within yourself. Integrity means that you are the same on the inside as you are on the outside. When you say you’re going to take a specific action today, and then you follow through to complete those actions you build faith that you are a trustworthy person, and you are worthy of having what you want.

Managing agreements allows you to move forward through inner resistance or emotional obstacles, without becoming trapped in sticky emotions. The more you honor your agreements to yourself, the more likely it is you will achieve both personal success and self-respect.

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.

Life is many times a difficult experience, resulting in strong feelings of stress, anxiety, and emotions. Stress isn’t just a state of mind, it effects your body as well. Your body reacts to your thoughts and feelings and tries to tell you with nonverbal communicaiton that something isn’t right. As your body attempts its communication process you may experience a plethora of immediate physical symptoms.

Physical Symptoms of Distress

• Stomach Upset
• Indigestion
• Constipation or diarrhea
• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Body tension
• Quick, shallow breathing
• Stiff shoulders and neck
• Headaches
• Back Pain
• Dry mouth
• Sweating
• High blood pressure
• Extreme tiredness
• Racing heart
• Restlessness

Left unattended or unresolved, these accute physical symptoms can progress into severe and chronic physical pain. No matter what level of body discomort you may be feeling, any type of type of physical imbalance has a tendency to make us feel afraid, worried, and uptight. Emotionally we may respond to physical distress with crying, edginess, or feeling powerless to change things. Instead of tuning in to our body, we tune out with one or more escape actions. For instance, we may choose to become overly busy, get lost in the television or internet, or we may turn to food, drugs, or alcohol in an effort to feel better.

While it is important to cultivate a relationship with your body when your life is going well, it is equally important to nurture this relationship when you body is out of balance. Your body has the ability to bring itself back into balance, but first it needs you to be aware of it’s nonverbal communicaiton. In addition, your body requires that you – your spiritual being – provide compassion, a choice about the direction you wish to head toward, and permission for the body to heal itself.

Partnership Dialog with Your Body

When your body is out of balance, copious amounts of gratitude, generosity, appreciation, and compassion are the antidotes for alleviating physically stressful experiences or emotionally painful wounds. The consistent practice of heart-felt compassion and appreciation generates a healthier and happier body.

Below is an example of a conversation how to reconnect with your body – especially when you are feeling lost, scared, or uncomfortable. 

“Hello body. Create for me a safe home, a home that is an oasis, that is calm, that is flowing with life energy, and that is reflective of my beauty. Allow me to breathe my peaceful spirit deep into every fiber, every cell, and every strand of DNA. Release from your tissues all that is not me, all that is not love. Release the aches and pains and frozen areas that keep me – my spirit – and life energy from flowing freely within you. I give you complete permission to do what you do best, which is of course to be a self-healing body always in a state of perpetual rejuvenation.” 

Embrace Your Body as a Supporter of Your Life

As you develop a new inter-related connection with your body, you become aware that your body has an inborn intelligence. It has both the ability to provide physical symptoms that tell you that there is a problem, and the ability to heal itself. Rather than running away from symptoms view symptoms as communication designed to capture your attention so that you can take positive action to move back into balance.

Author Resource: Want to learn more about how to live consciously, love deeply, and laugh often? Come along with Annette Colby and learn the secrets to creating the life you’ve always wanted to live! Subscribe to her blog Divine Self! today.